Today I felt really low. So much so that half way through the afternoon I just hid under my duvet to try and make it all go away. Reasons why, at 22 years old, I feel the need to resort to such a childish method, not of resolution, but of comfort:
- I feel very stupid and like there is no point moving somewhere where everyone will realise that I am no where near intelligent enough to continue with maths.
- I'm scared I am not going to make any friends.
I am just very scared. I am worried that I have made the wrong decision, but I am more worried that I haven't actually made a decision myself.
Then I thought
for fuck's sake. Get a grip. - I really want to go to Germany. I love doing what I'm doing and it is such an amazing opportunity.
- If I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough and I'd have to deal with that anyway.
So now I am watching "Saw 3" with my brother and writing some slides. My main problem with this film is that the wife seems to be of Indian or Iranian descent.. yet the children look suspiciously caucasion.
2 comments:
"I feel very stupid and like there is no point moving somewhere where everyone will realise that I am no where near intelligent enough to continue with maths."
...... < Massive Sigh >
I think I need you to write me another "dos and don'ts" list to keep me mentally on track... :-)
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