Does not compute.

Last night I went out. Shocking, I know! I went with a couple of old college friends to a free bar (I say "free" I actually mean you give the club £10 and they give you a glass which you keep getting refilled/ swapped at the bar). I hadn't been to this club for a number of years, but I was surprised at the number of people there who recognised me and knew my name. I was perhaps a little more surprised that I could not remember many of these people at all.

As predicted I didn't recognise much of the music, but 3 drinks later this did not deter me from "throwing some awesome shapes" (?!) on the dance floor. I genuinely think that I have forgotten how to dance.

There were the obligatory "Look we're having fun" photographs taken of course. I really hope they don't make it to facebook. One friend removed his camera and immediately everyone else I was with had positioned themselves into what they believe to be their most photogenic poses. And when the flash went off I was the only one standing looking like a complete trog, caught mid-action or mid-sentence with red-eyes and confusion branded across my forehead. I hate having photographs taken.

I spent a lot of time chatting with my friend Mark, who was recovering from cosmetic surgery to reduce excess fat from his chest. What the NHS pay for these days....

Mark says that I have always been " a bit of a robot" and this led to the joke of the evening that I "do not compute. Emotion. Does not compute. ERROR. ERROR." For some reason this made me laugh so much. I like Mark. He is inconceivably shallow and I have no emotional capacity- but we're still excellent friends. It's strange how these things happen.