Quiz Time

I just had this sent to me. My result concerns me. What does "n1 anxiety, n2 awkwardness, n3 neuroticism" actually mean? What are these unknown units?

Will I ever get married?

Apparently not.

I mentioned to my mum that I have been invited to a person I knew from high school's wedding.

"Oh really! ..... It's a shame you'll never get married."

"Erm? Why is that?"

"Well, you're doing this PhD."

"Oh."

I didn't really know what to say to this, but apparently "I have made my decision" and my mum "doesn't blame me" because "I've always been different, not like any of the other little girls" and "I never wanted to look nice."

Ouch.

I know that she probably doesn't mean to be insulting, but my mum really knows how to destroy any self-esteem I can manage to muster.

On a more Olympic-based note, team GB are doing very well. I can't believe we're 3rd on the medals table! From the whole games highlights have to have been:

1. Michael Phelps' history-making performance.
2. Men's 100m.
3. Women's 800m free.
4. Women's marathon.

Today I booked some flights. Task 1 for the day complete. Task 2: feel less of a failure as both a daughter and a female.

Doubles on Table Tennis just looks odd...

I am now sleeping around the BBC coverage of the Olympics. This is not too different from my usual sleeping patterns- except now I have a legitimate reason for this.

Pro: I can watch the Olympics all the time.
Con: I am watching the Olympics all the time...

... and doing nothing else. I really need to book some flights and write a talk, but I have over a week to do this. I hope this won't cut into any precious "Olympic-watching" time.

Question I was asked: Can you think of a non-closed subgroup of a Lie group?
My Answer: Take {(e1+ae2}t : t real} with a irrational, in the torus. This is not-closed. It is dense.

This question got me thinking about Lie groups and I have spent some time learning more about their classification via root systems and Dynkin diagrams. I like the simple combinatorics of the Dynkin diagram. With the new knowledge I have acquired snippets of some of the talks I went to last week are suddenly making much more sense. Perhaps it would have been better for me to have been asked this question earlier...

Hmm... as I await my next installment of Olympic goodness I just turned on The Grudge by accident. I think I am now a bit scared. Thank goodness BBC Parliament has been suspended for more coverage. Also, I love my red button privileges.

That's all from us here in the Bird's Nest. Until tomorrow..

In training

Eurgghh I feel like shit!

I stayed up last night to watch the swimming. I really wanted to see the women's relay, that WE WEREN'T IN!! Watched the shocker of Lisbeth Trickett qualify in 9th position and then make it through by the skin of her teeth via a disqualification. And of course, any race, heat or otherwise with Michael Phelps is a must.

I was going to go to bed after this but then I got trapped watching men's gymnastics.. and I'm still up. I'm not sure this was a good idea given I actually have real appointments to keep today.
I don't know, the lengths we athletes go to to support our country...

But the Olympics is really worth it. I can't wait for the athletics to start. Go team GB!

"I'm through accepting limits, just 'cus someone says they're so"

1. I apparently left the gas on today.
   Pro: The fact that it has been a while since I have done this is surely a positive thing.
   Con: I left the gas on.
   
   
2. I love the musical Wicked. I love the song Defying Gravity. I find this motivating, but not an "Eye of the Tiger" kind of motivating, which makes me feel obliged to exercise. As a result this song has now made it on to my iPod. I am not sure why any music I put on there has to go through a stringent checking period whereby I probe my mind demanding to know exactly how much I like to song and which of my playlists it can be appropriately placed into. It is not as if my iPod is short of space. I also honed my playlists today. There are 3 of them: "Algebraic Geometry", "Number Theory" and "Geometry." Defying Gravity has been added to the "Number Theory" playlist.
   
   
3. I think I really like Idina Manzel.
   
   
4. My EHIC came today. I am now entitled to the same health insurance as a native person in other European countries. Basically, I am now in a position to look for health insurance.
   
   
5. I have eaten 3 packets of crisps today. I am such a heffa.
   

The week gone by...

I have spent the last week at a conference on "Multiple Dirichlet Series and Applications to Automorphic forms" in Edinburgh. I really enjoyed it. Some of the talks were very interesting. Notably "Arithmetic analysis of the multiple zeta values" by Alexander Goncharov, "Quasi modular forms" by YoungJu Choie and "Unitary Periods" by Omer Offen. It has really given me a lot to think about. The good think about conferences is that if there is a a talk that you don't particularly understand (and at my low level; this is a guarantee) you can just work on your own material and you obtain "free maths." I feel like this week I have had some very productive hours.

The weather in Edinburgh was not very good. When I was walking around the castle with a person I met at the conference the heavens just opened and we got absolutely drenched. This set the precedence for the week, as the weather continued to be shit. The castle was very impressive though. Instead of taking accommodation with the participants I stayed with a friend of mine (Paul) who graduated from my university the year before to do his PhD in Differential Geometry in Edinburgh. This was pleasant, we cooked nice food, saw some street performers, went dry-wall climbing and in one of the rare breaks in between the showers we climbed Arthur's seat. The view from there was beautiful. His flat is amazing- he is like a real person now. Very grown up. It was a very tiring week. I had to get up at 7.30 am each morning and because Paul wasn't rising until much later we went to bed quite late. It was all worth it though. I had a great time!

On my way back home I dropped in to visit John and Kirsty (and Luke) in Durham. This was fun. We watched Princess Mononoke, which is absolutely fantastic. John introduced me to World of Warcraft. Although I initially mocked; this is potentially something I may do. I can see myself now in Germany- rushing back to my poky bedsit (note: this is actually wishful thinking on my part given I still am yet to make any headway on "operation find somewhere to live") to carry out fictional quests. We met our (ex-)lecturer for coffee and had "good maths chat." Although it made me feel a bit sad that I wouldn't be around next year, instead I'll be elsewhere not able to access my email on some Unix based computer...

Moral of the week: people do not relish being filmed on my video phone. Although apparently this makes me laugh a lot.

Result of the week: I feel happy.

Sorting things out.

Today I felt I needed to do something productive. What motivated this? Fear. Big, fat, stomach-tightening fear. Plus I did something last night which makes me question my sanity (sometimes I just shouldn't be allowed an unmonitored internet connection), so I felt the time had arrived to re-balance the situation. So I...

1. Applied for a European ID card. This was a lot harder than it sounds as it involved walking from my Doctor's to the post office multiple times and making many phone calls to a variety of different offices, many of which had no idea what I was talking about. I remain convinced if they don't know how to answer a question they just give the caller the phone number of the extension on the next desk. Frankly, I am surprised I didn't just give up, go home and succomb to the ever present and overwhelming urge to lie around in my pyjamas eating custard creams.
   
   
2. Sent a rather pathetic email to the place I am going to in Germany detailing the fact that I really can't live on my own and would it be possible for me to flat-share? I think that would be much better (for me) as I truly am inept. I keep having all too real mental images of me setting fire to something or having a gas leak or a burst pipe and having literally no idea what to do. I mean, I had the fire-brigade out twice and British gas out once in one week last year when I was left alone for these very reasons! To be fair, they were all mainly false alarms, but I can't imagine what I'd be like in a country where I don't speak the language. Perhaps less 999-happy...? Or whatever the European equivalent of 999 is. [Note: find out.]
   
   
3. Emailed my supervisor to arrange a telephone meeting. Yet another thing to worry about!
   
   
4. Finally declined my offer from the graduate school at my former university. Much to the relief of the admissions officer.
   
   
5. Looked at train times to Edinburgh. It seems I will have make 2 changes. This is unavoidable, no matter what time I wish to travel. It also appears the Edinburgh Fringe Festival will be occurring. This may be good. Or it may be a massive inconvenience.
   

I went for a walk this evening. I am never going for a walk near the old railway track again close to dusk. There was a woman with no teeth who approached me and grabbed my arm and wouldn't let go and proceeded to tell me that her mother had died on the train track. I had two thoughts run immediately through my head. One: she was going to kill me. Two: I was going to miss the ITV Poirot dramatisation. Being completely unable to deal with such situations I opted to ignore her strange comments and her grip on my arm and make polite conversation. She suggested we walk to the canal. In retrospect I definitely should have just ran away screaming, but the potentially fatal urge to be polite at all times caused me to be led towards the canal. Although at her question of "can you swim?" my head cried "NO YOU FUCKING CAN'T! ABORT THIS SITUATION!" So I did. I pointed out that I would in fact be missing David Suchet's excellent performance and I was very sorry but I would have to leave immediately. She sort of lunged towards me to kiss me on the cheek. This was a bit too much for me, I don't find that acceptable in normal situations so I removed her hand from me and shuffled quickly off proffering my best wishes for her journey home. I then broke in to a run, which I managed to maintain until she was out of sight (the hours on the bike have paid off!). I would hate to have had to stop where she could have seen me, as she may have just murdered me, but more importantly she may have thought that I was desperately unfit.

I wish strange people wouldn't approach me. It puts me in quite the social quandary.